I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done
We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away
And we spent four days on an
Island at your family's old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect...
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised
I lace my Chucks, I walk the aisle
I take my pills, the babies cry
All I hear is what's playing through
The in-flight radio
Now every word of every song
I ever heard that made me wanna stay
Is what's playing through
The in-flight radio, and I
And I am, finally waking up
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
Don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, yeah
So read your books, but stay out late
Some nights, some nights, and don't think
That you can't stop by the bar
You haven't shown your face here since the bad news
Well I'm here till close, with fingers crossed
Each night cause your place isn't far
And hours pass, and hours pass, yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah, she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, bruised, bruised
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
there's really no point reading this entry because it's just gonna say the same thing all over again. i am seriously going to miss home. the thought of it makes me wanna cry. i guess i'm so accustomed to living here that the thought of relocating for a pathetic period of 5 months makes me feel sad. extremely sad. sadder than i thought i'd be. there is actually something here that makes me want to stay yet, at the same time i know it would be much wiser for me to go. (besides there's no turning back now, i HAVE to go).
i taught my mom and sister how to use skype. the way my mom squealed in delight and awe of technology did make me feel even sadder, not so much that i am leaving but rather my sister too will be leaving (and i probably won't feel it till i'm back) and there's so many things that skype cannot capture. i want to be there when the chikus in the garden ripen, i want to see what's on tv, laze on the couch... i want to see if the couch is even the same. its sad to say that this is just another way of losing time... i want to be there, i want to be there to witness the most insignificant happenings in the lives of my loved ones, yet it would be unbearable to sit through the semester with thoughts of what would have been if i did not reject the offer.
wow, i'm really more resistant to change than what i thought i was...
must. not. cry. at. airport. crying. is. for. fags.
i taught my mom and sister how to use skype. the way my mom squealed in delight and awe of technology did make me feel even sadder, not so much that i am leaving but rather my sister too will be leaving (and i probably won't feel it till i'm back) and there's so many things that skype cannot capture. i want to be there when the chikus in the garden ripen, i want to see what's on tv, laze on the couch... i want to see if the couch is even the same. its sad to say that this is just another way of losing time... i want to be there, i want to be there to witness the most insignificant happenings in the lives of my loved ones, yet it would be unbearable to sit through the semester with thoughts of what would have been if i did not reject the offer.
wow, i'm really more resistant to change than what i thought i was...
must. not. cry. at. airport. crying. is. for. fags.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
in muse... part 2
hi everyone! hope you all had a very merry christmas, stoning in front of the telly or party hopping. i love christmas, especially the christmases i've spent in my family's previous house. being a smaller space, i'd wake up to roasting turkey and i guess that's pretty much the superficial part of christmas to me. seeing the presents pile up below the tree. the presents have significantly decreased in quantity but increased in quality and the tree has been given away since we've all grown older and much lazier.
parties have indeed increased in number over the years, so does the alcohol consumption as i get increasingly older, particularly champagne and red wines. i've started eating much less during this period since lunch and dinner's set aside for even more feasting. i'm often seen making numerous trips to the buffet table picking on the turkey breast and giving myself generous amounts of apple and cranberry sauce (yum yum yum!). i've since learnt the art of talking to much older people about the most matured things on earth. as i get older i find myself sitting at the adult's table and engaging people in conversations while sipping wine and giving useless opinions of it. speaking of which, it makes me rather depressed......................
well, blame it on my inability of remembering anything remotely french or exotic, and my very badly trained palette. or maybe my spoilt palette since i go around eating so much nonesense that affects my taste. hur hur hur. as i get older i feel the pressure to pick up golf, join them in wine sessions, cook and whip up all sorts of food, appreciate all sorts of cheese and/or do something that my parents can sing praises of... and at this age i am indeed living in my younger sister's shadow. a younger sister who isn't exactly great at academics but managed to excel first as a waitress then a wine consultant and get into such a prestigeous school. it sucks when every convo somehow revolves around me spending so much and it makes me seem superficial and useless.
i have decided to make a mark today!
stop laughing im serious.
WHATEVER IT IS i really love christmas, although it can be depressing (as you have already seen). last night i went for midnight mass with daryl's family. my second time going for such an event and i must say that the second time really made me see the light. i have no idea how people can actually do it ritually but it's really SO meaningful to me. at 11.30pm on christmas eve the choir leads us in singing slow and sad carols, seemingly to await Christ's birth. and around 12mn the mass begins and it gets a little happier when we are lead to sing carols like adeste fideles and what child is this. its amazing what lyrics and carols can do when you actually think about it. hmmm. and of course it all ends with a bang, all joyous and celebratory with joy to the world. then i found out that the catholic church's calendar actually begins and ends each christmas, so staying awake on the eve is actually significant and once it crosses to midnight we rejoice and thank the Lord for Jesus's birth.
i guess it really drives in the meaning of Christmas to me. maybe because i never quite thought about it or celebrated it on such a scale. yes, we do sing carols in church and stuff but really nothing like this...
just a thought.
parties have indeed increased in number over the years, so does the alcohol consumption as i get increasingly older, particularly champagne and red wines. i've started eating much less during this period since lunch and dinner's set aside for even more feasting. i'm often seen making numerous trips to the buffet table picking on the turkey breast and giving myself generous amounts of apple and cranberry sauce (yum yum yum!). i've since learnt the art of talking to much older people about the most matured things on earth. as i get older i find myself sitting at the adult's table and engaging people in conversations while sipping wine and giving useless opinions of it. speaking of which, it makes me rather depressed......................
well, blame it on my inability of remembering anything remotely french or exotic, and my very badly trained palette. or maybe my spoilt palette since i go around eating so much nonesense that affects my taste. hur hur hur. as i get older i feel the pressure to pick up golf, join them in wine sessions, cook and whip up all sorts of food, appreciate all sorts of cheese and/or do something that my parents can sing praises of... and at this age i am indeed living in my younger sister's shadow. a younger sister who isn't exactly great at academics but managed to excel first as a waitress then a wine consultant and get into such a prestigeous school. it sucks when every convo somehow revolves around me spending so much and it makes me seem superficial and useless.
i have decided to make a mark today!
stop laughing im serious.
WHATEVER IT IS i really love christmas, although it can be depressing (as you have already seen). last night i went for midnight mass with daryl's family. my second time going for such an event and i must say that the second time really made me see the light. i have no idea how people can actually do it ritually but it's really SO meaningful to me. at 11.30pm on christmas eve the choir leads us in singing slow and sad carols, seemingly to await Christ's birth. and around 12mn the mass begins and it gets a little happier when we are lead to sing carols like adeste fideles and what child is this. its amazing what lyrics and carols can do when you actually think about it. hmmm. and of course it all ends with a bang, all joyous and celebratory with joy to the world. then i found out that the catholic church's calendar actually begins and ends each christmas, so staying awake on the eve is actually significant and once it crosses to midnight we rejoice and thank the Lord for Jesus's birth.
i guess it really drives in the meaning of Christmas to me. maybe because i never quite thought about it or celebrated it on such a scale. yes, we do sing carols in church and stuff but really nothing like this...
just a thought.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
i can't say that i have done exceptionally well, but i did well enough to put my mind at ease for the entire duration of my exchange. (: of course it would be nice to get better grades and pull my cap up even more, but i guess i'm pretty contented with the amount of effort i've put in. i'd say that my results are a lot more balanced this semester unlike year 1 where i got atrocious grades like B- and C+.
so thanks and praise be to God, my lifeline and sustainer during each torturous semester.
when i'm back, i'll worry about averaging my core module grade. *sobzzzzz*
so thanks and praise be to God, my lifeline and sustainer during each torturous semester.
when i'm back, i'll worry about averaging my core module grade. *sobzzzzz*
deep in thought...
as NYC draws nearer, i've come to realise why God didn't somehow plan for me to go abroad for anything more than 5 months. not only am i a paranoid freak but i have so much that i'll potentially miss. talking to amanda for more than 1 hour yesterday made me realise that i've so much here that i've taken for granted. i guess im not the sort who dares to step out of my comfort zone alone. i'm pretty resistant towards change. somehow i'm content with being in singapore, doing a degree here, although i think it sucks like crazy.
i was so insistent on living on campus and then deciding that i hate it and then being so desperate to go on SEP. just as i found myself being pissed off with life and giving up on the ideal uni life, i met some people who potentially changed my outlook towards this damn bureaucracy that i found myself in. they made it so much more bearable, and in some ways i wish i could undo all the mistakes that i've made prior to setting foot in uni. perhaps i would have not turned out to be more appreciative of genuine friends if i had not gone through shit. i've realised that God somehow lead me to them, and my prayers for such friends did come true after so long. they're perfect for me. thank You God.
lunch with my family on sunday did make me realise that i've been too stubborn at times and not listening to what they have to say. i must say that i am a really stubborn girl if you really know me, and even when i comply, i do it unwillingly. blah talking to them really makes me regret my choices in life more. they're really negative people, my parents. then again, being stubborn perhaps made me, me. (: thank God again.
the point is, there will be so much that i am leaving behind.
i was so insistent on living on campus and then deciding that i hate it and then being so desperate to go on SEP. just as i found myself being pissed off with life and giving up on the ideal uni life, i met some people who potentially changed my outlook towards this damn bureaucracy that i found myself in. they made it so much more bearable, and in some ways i wish i could undo all the mistakes that i've made prior to setting foot in uni. perhaps i would have not turned out to be more appreciative of genuine friends if i had not gone through shit. i've realised that God somehow lead me to them, and my prayers for such friends did come true after so long. they're perfect for me. thank You God.
lunch with my family on sunday did make me realise that i've been too stubborn at times and not listening to what they have to say. i must say that i am a really stubborn girl if you really know me, and even when i comply, i do it unwillingly. blah talking to them really makes me regret my choices in life more. they're really negative people, my parents. then again, being stubborn perhaps made me, me. (: thank God again.
the point is, there will be so much that i am leaving behind.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
brunch with liyun and amanda at dempsey, a mark of close friendship = non-stop talking, no pictures and genuine fun and laughter. really love those 2 kiddos... (: will miss them a lot ):
while we were leaving the hotel yesterday i mentioned to someone that this event (i.e. my party) is only the start to more parties. thought it was pretty true. and those who celebrate christmas and new years' will know what i mean. haha. was at my second party since yesterday and it suddenly occured to me that i'll be leaving in 10 days time, which is less than 2 weeks. less than 2 weeks to make up for what i wont be experiencing first hand for the next 5 months. i haven't started packing yet, although i already have most of my stuff chucked into my luggage.
i was talking to daryl about long distance relationships. most of them don't work out. its strange how it has never actually crossed my mind, maybe because i have no fear and neither does he. besides it's pretty retarded to worry about such things, because if things were meant to work out they will. the more worried you are about such things, the more you tend to display paranoid behaviour and because of that the other party thinks you're being posessive (and thus the relationship fails). maybe LDR and breakups are the last thing on my mind. i don't really see him as a boyfriend honestly, and i really am not the romantic sort, but i must admit we do hang out a lot, but we do so as friends. we may seem clingy and always together but we have the same major and modules thus the same breaks and hardly any econs friends after 2 wasted semesters in hall so what do you expect? obviously we're like hanging out together right? if you have a friend of the same gender reading the same course then good for you but some people aren't that lucky OKAYYYYY.
it does help that some of my closer friends in school treat him as their friend as well and it helps make the whole relationship be less stressful and 'exclusive'. its very heartening to see him carry bags for my girlfriends without me prompting him and walking them back to their cars at night or waiting for them to shower finish during camp ahahha. they can also joke with him and walk beside him without being retarded and childish (i.e. deliberately walking slower or faster to make sure only i walk beside him) which is what i like.
of course we do share some couple moments but i don't like to put unnecessary pressure on it and hence no facebook statuses, besides this is all private between the both of us and well God, and daryl really is my bestfriend first before a boyfriend. so i guess that's essentially the reason why i have no fear about exchange (:
yes, so..... i forgot what i was going to say before i digressed. oh well, gonna sleep now, it's been a long day no doubt.
will talk about the party soon, when i get all my pics.
while we were leaving the hotel yesterday i mentioned to someone that this event (i.e. my party) is only the start to more parties. thought it was pretty true. and those who celebrate christmas and new years' will know what i mean. haha. was at my second party since yesterday and it suddenly occured to me that i'll be leaving in 10 days time, which is less than 2 weeks. less than 2 weeks to make up for what i wont be experiencing first hand for the next 5 months. i haven't started packing yet, although i already have most of my stuff chucked into my luggage.
i was talking to daryl about long distance relationships. most of them don't work out. its strange how it has never actually crossed my mind, maybe because i have no fear and neither does he. besides it's pretty retarded to worry about such things, because if things were meant to work out they will. the more worried you are about such things, the more you tend to display paranoid behaviour and because of that the other party thinks you're being posessive (and thus the relationship fails). maybe LDR and breakups are the last thing on my mind. i don't really see him as a boyfriend honestly, and i really am not the romantic sort, but i must admit we do hang out a lot, but we do so as friends. we may seem clingy and always together but we have the same major and modules thus the same breaks and hardly any econs friends after 2 wasted semesters in hall so what do you expect? obviously we're like hanging out together right? if you have a friend of the same gender reading the same course then good for you but some people aren't that lucky OKAYYYYY.
it does help that some of my closer friends in school treat him as their friend as well and it helps make the whole relationship be less stressful and 'exclusive'. its very heartening to see him carry bags for my girlfriends without me prompting him and walking them back to their cars at night or waiting for them to shower finish during camp ahahha. they can also joke with him and walk beside him without being retarded and childish (i.e. deliberately walking slower or faster to make sure only i walk beside him) which is what i like.
of course we do share some couple moments but i don't like to put unnecessary pressure on it and hence no facebook statuses, besides this is all private between the both of us and well God, and daryl really is my bestfriend first before a boyfriend. so i guess that's essentially the reason why i have no fear about exchange (:
yes, so..... i forgot what i was going to say before i digressed. oh well, gonna sleep now, it's been a long day no doubt.
will talk about the party soon, when i get all my pics.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Makin' up a song about Coraline
She's a peach, she's a doll, she's a pal of mine
She's as cute as a button in the eyes of everyone who's ever laid their eyes on Coraline
When she comes around exploring
Mom and I will never ever make it boring
Our eyes will be on Coraline!
--
i really liked the movie (although i still prefer corpse bride)! and being a tim burton fan i guess it made me like it even more. no spoilers here, but its still very "burton" in terms of illustrations and ideas, a bit twisted, warped and creepy. but still, i think you could sit through this one. (: omg come to think of it, elise!!! let's have a tim burton marathon! :D
anyway this week i've been a complete couch potato, finished season 4 of how i met your mother (thanks muylan!) and will be waiting for season 5 to be out on dvd although mark already spoilt it for me ... what's with spoilers?! i've been also watching the channel 8 show together (hahahah). zoolander, deuce bigalow european gigolo :D oh also orphan but since kim told us the entire story we decided against it... but the dvd we rented actually has an alternate ending :X
ohhhhhh and i MUST squeeze in the visit to the tim burton exhibition at MoMA once i reach nyc!!! but i need to book the tickets online.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I reached school so late yesterday the briefing ended the moment i stepped into the lecture theatre nice. Just got back from city hall from a shoot, feeling kinda tired but need to WAKE UP! heading to jamie's for movie marathon. on a random note, since I have been bugged by someone...
What you should NOT get me for my TWENTY FIRST birthday (i.e. it isn't a normal birthday... you become and adult) i know it isn't my 21st yet but please help me pretend it is. i already feel shitty about celebrating it in US.
What you should NOT get me for my TWENTY FIRST birthday (i.e. it isn't a normal birthday... you become and adult) i know it isn't my 21st yet but please help me pretend it is. i already feel shitty about celebrating it in US.
1) Soft toys
2) Photo frames or anything that functions like a photoframe
3) Cups, glasses
4) Statues
5) Pillows
6) Alcohol
7) Small purses (which are obviously impractical if you actually know how big my bags are)
8) Candles
9) Stationery (inclusive of pen holders, paper dispensers, paper clips wth trust me i got that before)
10) 2010 journals (although i think it is a good idea for someone not celebrating his/her 21st)
11) Soft toys.. did i say that again? anyway i really hate soft toys so please don't even try. looking at them pains me.
12) Toy cameras eg diana, holga etc...
Suggested items (examples only): it would be much nicer if you didn't refer to the list and get me what u think i need, it would be much sweeter that way...
1) Blackberry/iphone
2) ipod
3) GPS system for my car
4) wallets that girls carry (in case there are stupid people reading this)
5) watches, but do tell me to pay you 20 cents for it when you hand it to me, coz im pretty superstitious
6) perfumes, but there is a list of what NOT to buy AS I CURRENTLY HAVE THEM (do not buy their seasonal ones as well):
- chanel mademoiselle
- chanel no 5 (i dont have it but i put it here coz its damn smelly unless you are plotting to kill me)
- flower by kenzo
- romance by raplh lauren
- j'adore by dior
- beyond paradise estee lauder
- be delicious DKNY
7) DSLR
8) shu uemura cleansing oil
9) more to be added when i think of it haha
** These are only EXAMPLES. and i don't wanna demand it out of people, but you could use this as a reference and work from there. i prefer more practical but chic things as opposed to decorative items which collect dust (and will make me get scolded by my mother)
Other things you may want to know:
- my clothes size is UK 6/US 2, sometimes UK 8/ US 4 but usually 6, usually i fit into S sizes
- my shoe size is Eur 38 or 39 depending on the fit
- i do not have any favourite / non favourite colours coz they change according to the seasons (i.e. fashion seasons). you could take a cure from www.whowhatwear.com, for ideas on what i would (probably) like this season. anyway its all about the overall look of the item as opposed to what colour it is. unless it's a shitty colour like orange.
- i really appreciate well thought out presents and cards and stuff, and i actually keep them (contrary to popular belief)
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